Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Today Is One of Those Days

Depression loses its power when fresh vision pierces the darkness. - By Peter SInclair

I am having “one of those days” today. Self-doubt and negative talk are creeping into my brain. I feel sad, alone, worthless, indecisive, depressed, you name it, and I feel it. I can’t or don’t want to do anything at all. I just want to sit in a corner and suck my thumb. I wish there was someone here to talk to, (can’t afford a physiatrist). My feeble attempt at humor and not a very good one at that.

I am questioning where I should go with my life. I don’t know which path I should take. I have made so many wrong turns and choices that I cannot distinguish the right from the wrong today By posting this I am not asking for anything, especially pity I don’t know that pity is the right work to use. I am only expressing myself in the hope that it will rid me of these thoughts and feelings. I thought I had conquered these feelings but I guess there are lingering remnants. As they (WHO IS THEY?) say, I fought the battle but have not won the war. I will keep fighting the battles until there are fewer of them and maybe then the war will be won for me.

Then again, maybe we all have days like this. I sure hope so. As with all things, this too will pass.

After writing these words and reading over them, I have doubt as to whether or not to post this but will anyway. Maybe someone else is having “one of those days” and will know they are not alone.

stable, together
unmoveable, stationed, still
she hides the emotions
uncontrolled, unpredictable
slipping, falling, showing
she finally breaks down

This poem and others by rubberduckii can be found at http://www.poems-and-quotes.com/

Copyright © 2007 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved

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