Ruth's Bottle of Hugs
You can visit Ruth at Me, My Life, My Garden . Hugs to everyone who may visit here today.
Showing posts with label Life In General. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life In General. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Monday, October 22, 2007
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Landscapes - Squaw Peak In Phoenix
See Other Places at These Links
1. Gene Bach
2. katherine.
5. Vic Grace
6. Ron Simpson
9. Jessie
10. Acire
11. Nikita
12. Scott F
13. SargeCharlie
16. Aditi Srivastava
17. Aman
18. Misty Dawn
19. Latharia
These photos were taken in and around the condo where my son lives. Squaw Peak Mountain is within walking distance. I just moved back here a month ago and would have taken more photos but I am without transportation at this time. Phoenix is surrounded by mountains and we have desert and palm trees. Seems like a contradiction but is simply breathtaking.
Friday, April 06, 2007
I Am Thankful For
I am not sure why but for some reason all the things that I am thankful for have been on my mind today. These are but a few of the things that I am thankful for.
I am thankful that God loves me.
I am thankful that God created the earth and filled it with all His creatures to share with me.
I am thankful for my life.
I am thankful for my husband, Anthony.
I am thankful when I wake up in the morning that I have been blessed with another day on God’s earth.
I am thankful that I have been blessed with food and shelter.
I am thankful for my blog friends, Rex H, Shadow, Liza, Noor Azman Othman GBE, Scout, Talj, Ruth, Gene Bach, Inmatez Wife, Ashley, Scott, Surjit, billy rob. They are each unique and different and inspire me to be the best that I can.
I am thankful for the seasons.
I am thankful for my pet cat, Morris.
I am thankful that I have my health.
Friday, February 23, 2007
My Mother
This is for my mother, Ethelyne Inez (Becky) Reynolds, April 3, 1921 – May 3, 2002.
I never realized how strong my mother was until she passed away and I took a good look at our lives. She worked hard and was the glue that held our family together for many years. My father stopped drinking when I was thirteen and by then the damage to our family was evident. She never stopped loving him and stood by him through all the trials and tribulations of their life. She continued to work and she supported him in all that he chose to do. Even if it meant moving again and we did several more times. Divorce is a word that I never heard mentioned in our home. She stayed beside him until he passed away.
As she grew older, I had expectations of her that she could no longer fulfill. I expected her to do the things she did when I was growing up. I expected her to cook meals, clean the house, bake pies and cakes and all the other things she did. I did not see her as growing older, I saw my mother as she use to be. I began to realize how my mother felt as I aged and started to slow down myself. My expectations were too high for her to meet. I thought about these things for many months and knew I had to tell her what I had come to realize and ask her to forgive me for setting those expectations for her. To tell her that I understood why she could not do the things I expected of her. Although she had her share of illnesses, her health was okay in 2001 and she moved to Tennessee to live with my sister. I delayed telling her the things I needed to say. Thursday, May 2, 2002 came around and for some reason I knew I had to talk to her and tell her how I felt. I delayed once again and intended to call her on Friday morning.
A good friend of ours dropped by for a visit that morning. We sat at the kitchen table, talking and the telephone rang. I answered and my sister said I do not know how to tell you, but mother died in her sleep last night.
What I am trying to say by writing this is do not put off talking to a loved one when you know you must. Make it a priority to talk, do not delay for any reason, no matter how important you think it may be. Nothing is as important as telling someone you love how you feel and to say you are sorry or whatever it may be you have to say. Since then I have talked to her, even though she is no longer here. My only regret is that I did not say those things to her before she died. I know that she heard me and I have found peace in that.
I never realized how strong my mother was until she passed away and I took a good look at our lives. She worked hard and was the glue that held our family together for many years. My father stopped drinking when I was thirteen and by then the damage to our family was evident. She never stopped loving him and stood by him through all the trials and tribulations of their life. She continued to work and she supported him in all that he chose to do. Even if it meant moving again and we did several more times. Divorce is a word that I never heard mentioned in our home. She stayed beside him until he passed away.
As she grew older, I had expectations of her that she could no longer fulfill. I expected her to do the things she did when I was growing up. I expected her to cook meals, clean the house, bake pies and cakes and all the other things she did. I did not see her as growing older, I saw my mother as she use to be. I began to realize how my mother felt as I aged and started to slow down myself. My expectations were too high for her to meet. I thought about these things for many months and knew I had to tell her what I had come to realize and ask her to forgive me for setting those expectations for her. To tell her that I understood why she could not do the things I expected of her. Although she had her share of illnesses, her health was okay in 2001 and she moved to Tennessee to live with my sister. I delayed telling her the things I needed to say. Thursday, May 2, 2002 came around and for some reason I knew I had to talk to her and tell her how I felt. I delayed once again and intended to call her on Friday morning.
A good friend of ours dropped by for a visit that morning. We sat at the kitchen table, talking and the telephone rang. I answered and my sister said I do not know how to tell you, but mother died in her sleep last night.
What I am trying to say by writing this is do not put off talking to a loved one when you know you must. Make it a priority to talk, do not delay for any reason, no matter how important you think it may be. Nothing is as important as telling someone you love how you feel and to say you are sorry or whatever it may be you have to say. Since then I have talked to her, even though she is no longer here. My only regret is that I did not say those things to her before she died. I know that she heard me and I have found peace in that.
Friday, February 16, 2007
The Oak Tree
I went to the Hallmark Gold Crown Store yesterday to mail a letter to my sister. Strange thing about Phoenix is that they do not have many US Post Office Mail Boxes sitting on street corners. There is a substation in the Hallmark store and that is where I go to mail letters and cards. Before I mailed the letter to my sister, I looked for a card to send to say I was sorry and forgive me. During the search, I saw a Hallmark Card, "The Oak Tree".
The reason the card drew my attention is that a friend and I are writing a poem about an oak tree. He made me a challenge to me. I would write a story about an oak tree and send it to him. He would write the first verse, I would write the second verse, he the third, etc., until we complete the poem. Finding this card is the second “coincidence” related to an oak tree.
The first occurred shortly after we started the poem. I went to my bank’s website and there was a picture of an oak tree with a heart carved into its trunk (that was part of our story). I sent him the picture of the tree. Finding the card was especially shocking since it had a poem on it and parts of that poem were like lines from ours. I have not decided if these two events are just coincidences or is God telling me something and I do not hear him.
On the front of the card, there is a picture of an oak tree on the bank of a river lined with trees and white clouds against the blue sky. This is the poem on the card.
"The Oak Tree" A Message of Encouragement.
A mighty wind blew night and day.
It stole the oak tree's leaves away,
Then snapped its bark
until the oak was tired and stark.
But still the oak tree held its ground
while other trees feel all around....
The weary wind gave up and spoke,
"How can you still be standing, Oak?"
The oak tree said, "I know that you
can break each branch of mine in two,
carry every leaf away,
shake my limbs, and make me sway.
But I have roots stretched in the earth,
growing stronger since my birth.
You'll never touch them, for you see,
they are the deepest part of me.
Until today, I wasn't sure
of just how much I could endure.
But now I've found, with thanks to you,
I"m stronger that I ever knew.
The inside verse reads:
Especially now,
try to remember
that you're stronger
than any problem
you encounter
or any disappointment
life will bring.
Thinking of you,
believing in you,
caring for you.
The reason the card drew my attention is that a friend and I are writing a poem about an oak tree. He made me a challenge to me. I would write a story about an oak tree and send it to him. He would write the first verse, I would write the second verse, he the third, etc., until we complete the poem. Finding this card is the second “coincidence” related to an oak tree.
The first occurred shortly after we started the poem. I went to my bank’s website and there was a picture of an oak tree with a heart carved into its trunk (that was part of our story). I sent him the picture of the tree. Finding the card was especially shocking since it had a poem on it and parts of that poem were like lines from ours. I have not decided if these two events are just coincidences or is God telling me something and I do not hear him.
On the front of the card, there is a picture of an oak tree on the bank of a river lined with trees and white clouds against the blue sky. This is the poem on the card.
"The Oak Tree" A Message of Encouragement.
A mighty wind blew night and day.
It stole the oak tree's leaves away,
Then snapped its bark
until the oak was tired and stark.
But still the oak tree held its ground
while other trees feel all around....
The weary wind gave up and spoke,
"How can you still be standing, Oak?"
The oak tree said, "I know that you
can break each branch of mine in two,
carry every leaf away,
shake my limbs, and make me sway.
But I have roots stretched in the earth,
growing stronger since my birth.
You'll never touch them, for you see,
they are the deepest part of me.
Until today, I wasn't sure
of just how much I could endure.
But now I've found, with thanks to you,
I"m stronger that I ever knew.
The inside verse reads:
Especially now,
try to remember
that you're stronger
than any problem
you encounter
or any disappointment
life will bring.
Thinking of you,
believing in you,
caring for you.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Families
I received an email from a good friend and it brings to mind what families mean. His niece had a virus of some type and it damaged her heart. She underwent surgery to remove the damaged tissue and the results are that she has lost 60% of her heart function. She has two small children ages 11 and 8. Her parents, (his sister was her mother) are deceased and he is the only relative she has left. He is going to change jobs and move to her home to take care of her and the children.
My first thought is how unselfish this man is. Then I asked myself, would I do the same? The answer is yes, I would. How would you answer?
It also brings to mind that many of us, me included, have issues with our family members that have not been resolved through the years. I think it is easier to allow those issues to remain unresolved than to find the courage to confront them. I believe that fear of making the first approach or fear of rejection stops us. Sometimes just plain old stubbornness stops us. Eliminate the old thing of they started this; let them be the first to make amends from the equation. Case in point is my mother-in-law who passed away carrying a grudge against her sister. She never told me or anyone else I know of what happened between them. At the time of her death, they had not spoken for over 25 years. Imagine all they missed during those years. Unfortunately, death is final and once a person passes away, there is no way for us to get back the years we missed or to tell them the things we have left unspoken.
Families can be disapproving of our lives and our choices, just as we are of theirs. They do not always support us in our decisions or lifestyles. We need to establish boundaries so these things are off limits in our interactions. We have to put aside the things that cause friction and remember they are our family and no matter what at some point in our lives we need our families.
My sister disowned me after our mother passed away. I do not know why or for what reason. I am guilty of not making that first step to resolve this situation but I can tell you that I am going to make that a priority in my life. Blame should not be a factor because it really does not matter who did what to whom. What matters is that we should value our families enough to try. If the issues are not resolved, you will know in your heart you tried to mend the divide and be at peace with yourself if it is beyond repair. It will make me sad if I cannot mend our divide because other than my son, my sister is the only relative I have remaining.
My first thought is how unselfish this man is. Then I asked myself, would I do the same? The answer is yes, I would. How would you answer?
It also brings to mind that many of us, me included, have issues with our family members that have not been resolved through the years. I think it is easier to allow those issues to remain unresolved than to find the courage to confront them. I believe that fear of making the first approach or fear of rejection stops us. Sometimes just plain old stubbornness stops us. Eliminate the old thing of they started this; let them be the first to make amends from the equation. Case in point is my mother-in-law who passed away carrying a grudge against her sister. She never told me or anyone else I know of what happened between them. At the time of her death, they had not spoken for over 25 years. Imagine all they missed during those years. Unfortunately, death is final and once a person passes away, there is no way for us to get back the years we missed or to tell them the things we have left unspoken.
Families can be disapproving of our lives and our choices, just as we are of theirs. They do not always support us in our decisions or lifestyles. We need to establish boundaries so these things are off limits in our interactions. We have to put aside the things that cause friction and remember they are our family and no matter what at some point in our lives we need our families.
My sister disowned me after our mother passed away. I do not know why or for what reason. I am guilty of not making that first step to resolve this situation but I can tell you that I am going to make that a priority in my life. Blame should not be a factor because it really does not matter who did what to whom. What matters is that we should value our families enough to try. If the issues are not resolved, you will know in your heart you tried to mend the divide and be at peace with yourself if it is beyond repair. It will make me sad if I cannot mend our divide because other than my son, my sister is the only relative I have remaining.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
God's Work
God works in mysterious ways. I believe that things happen for a reason in our lives. We just need to recognize that they are God’s work. Not long ago, I was on my way to have some copies made and I passed by a small dress shop, Oh Donna. Something in the back of my mind said you need to stop on your way back and I did just that. When I entered, I looked around for a few minutes and one of the sales clerks approached me. We started to talk and I told her that I was new to the area and had seen the shop quite by accident. She asked me where I was from and why I came to Phoenix. I explained to her that I came from Indiana because of martial problems and chose Phoenix because I had to get far away from my husband and that my son lives here.To my amazement, she said the same thing had happened to her. We talked some more about the details of our lives and I was on the verge of tears. She said you need a hug, hugged me, and told me you will be okay. She asked if I had found a church and I told her no, that I did not have a car yet and it is hard to get around. She told me about a few churches that are within walking distance and said there was always someone who would be willing to pick me up and take me home. It seems as if the owner of the shop teaches classes at some of these churches for women like us, who have had to leave a marriage because of abuse. She teaches them how to deal with the grief associated with the loss of a part of your soul and not the marriage itself. I have been back several times to the shop and unfortunately the sales clerk I talked to has not been there. I wanted to tell her how much our talk helped me.
I believe this was an event that God intended to happen. You see the night before, I had talked with a friend about not meeting people, not being able to get my feet on solid ground and how alone I felt. I told my friend that I needed to someone to give me a hug and tell me everything would be okay. I was really down in the dumps that day when I went into that dress shop. I needed that hug even if it was from a stranger. That made it all the more important to me, because she understood.
I pray every night and ask God to show me the path that I need to take to get my life in order again and to guide me in the right direction. This event is only one of many that have been God’s work.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
At this Moment
It has not been my intention to be so sad and morose in my writings on this blog. At this moment in my life there are things that I have to work through and address the grief. I have been using the blog as a way to do that. When I write, my feelings and thoughts are exposed and I am forced to deal with them. Not try to pretend they don’t exist or will simply go away.
This is a part of the healing process that I am going through. At times we all have things in our lives that have to be dealt with. How we deal with them is an individual choice. I have chosen writing for my blog and have also started to write poetry about the events in my life. It has taken every bit of courage I can muster to expose myself to the world but it is necessary. Perhaps there is someone else going through the same sort of thing in their life and if they read this, then they will know they are not alone.
I have included an email sent to a friend of mine. It was written after a day of talking about this moment in my life. The last sentence sums up how I feel about people that are a part of my life now. Please just listen to me, you don’t have to respond in anyway, just listen to me.
The email sent to a friend:
Last night after I went to bed, I felt so alone. After getting my feelings out in the open how my marriage was, no intimacy, etc. I realized how much I missed having someone next to me. Someone just hold me, give me a hug and tell me that things will be okay.
I realized how tired I am of starting my life over, dusting myself off and moving on. Putting on a happy face so no one can see the pain and doubt. Maybe it's because I am older now, but this time I have been knocked so far down, I am having a hard time getting up. Just when I think I have made progress, I let those negative feelings creep in. I am tired of taking care of myself, always have to be independent. I want someone to take care of me for a change. I am tired of making decisions alone. I am tired, well I am just tired.
People around me now, with the exception of you, my new friend, don't understand. They think I should be able to forget everything and put it away as if nothing happened and they don't take it seriously. They don't understand that grief is a part of my life for the moment and I have to work through it. Not grief over him, but grief because a part of me has died and grief because I let it happen.
I have tried to tell them the things that I have shared with you; they interrupt me and change the subject. They don't want to hear what I have to say. It embarrasses them and they don't have a clue how to respond. They don't realize, I don't need a response from them, only for them to listen so they will know me and my world at the moment.
This is a part of the healing process that I am going through. At times we all have things in our lives that have to be dealt with. How we deal with them is an individual choice. I have chosen writing for my blog and have also started to write poetry about the events in my life. It has taken every bit of courage I can muster to expose myself to the world but it is necessary. Perhaps there is someone else going through the same sort of thing in their life and if they read this, then they will know they are not alone.
I have included an email sent to a friend of mine. It was written after a day of talking about this moment in my life. The last sentence sums up how I feel about people that are a part of my life now. Please just listen to me, you don’t have to respond in anyway, just listen to me.
The email sent to a friend:
Last night after I went to bed, I felt so alone. After getting my feelings out in the open how my marriage was, no intimacy, etc. I realized how much I missed having someone next to me. Someone just hold me, give me a hug and tell me that things will be okay.
I realized how tired I am of starting my life over, dusting myself off and moving on. Putting on a happy face so no one can see the pain and doubt. Maybe it's because I am older now, but this time I have been knocked so far down, I am having a hard time getting up. Just when I think I have made progress, I let those negative feelings creep in. I am tired of taking care of myself, always have to be independent. I want someone to take care of me for a change. I am tired of making decisions alone. I am tired, well I am just tired.
People around me now, with the exception of you, my new friend, don't understand. They think I should be able to forget everything and put it away as if nothing happened and they don't take it seriously. They don't understand that grief is a part of my life for the moment and I have to work through it. Not grief over him, but grief because a part of me has died and grief because I let it happen.
I have tried to tell them the things that I have shared with you; they interrupt me and change the subject. They don't want to hear what I have to say. It embarrasses them and they don't have a clue how to respond. They don't realize, I don't need a response from them, only for them to listen so they will know me and my world at the moment.
Friday, January 26, 2007
Three Little Words "I am sorry"
Expressing three little words, “I am sorry” is never comfortable. Once it becomes necessary to say these words, provide an explanation so the recipient understands why they are being offered. Although, it is difficult to apologize, an apology will clear the air and all can move forward. These three words, “I am sorry” must never be taken lightly and not conveyed unless they come from the heart and are sincere. Never use them frivolously since that will not benefit anyone, especially the recipient. The motivation for an apology should be a desire to correct a wrong. All apologies will not be accepted. Do not allow nonacceptance to become an obstacle or deterrent from expressing them again if the need arises.
Recognizing what occurred that requires an apology, is never easy. If we take heed, our “gut” feelings will permit us to recognize when an apology is necessary. “Gut” feelings are those feelings that keep nagging at us that is not right, repair the damage! As we go through the process of recognition and apology, the need to verbalize these three words, “I am sorry” will diminish. Throughout this process, awareness will develop and you will begin to consider your words before you speak or take action that could injure someone’s heart and soul. In the end, a maturity will evolve resulting in making you a better person for having said, “I am sorry”.
These three little words, “I am sorry” in truth are the largest three words you can ever express to anyone.
Copyright © 2007 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved
Recognizing what occurred that requires an apology, is never easy. If we take heed, our “gut” feelings will permit us to recognize when an apology is necessary. “Gut” feelings are those feelings that keep nagging at us that is not right, repair the damage! As we go through the process of recognition and apology, the need to verbalize these three words, “I am sorry” will diminish. Throughout this process, awareness will develop and you will begin to consider your words before you speak or take action that could injure someone’s heart and soul. In the end, a maturity will evolve resulting in making you a better person for having said, “I am sorry”.
These three little words, “I am sorry” in truth are the largest three words you can ever express to anyone.
Copyright © 2007 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Today Is One of Those Days
Depression loses its power when fresh vision pierces the darkness. - By Peter SInclairI am having “one of those days” today. Self-doubt and negative talk are creeping into my brain. I feel sad, alone, worthless, indecisive, depressed, you name it, and I feel it. I can’t or don’t want to do anything at all. I just want to sit in a corner and suck my thumb. I wish there was someone here to talk to, (can’t afford a physiatrist). My feeble attempt at humor and not a very good one at that.
I am questioning where I should go with my life. I don’t know which path I should take. I have made so many wrong turns and choices that I cannot distinguish the right from the wrong today By posting this I am not asking for anything, especially pity I don’t know that pity is the right work to use. I am only expressing myself in the hope that it will rid me of these thoughts and feelings. I thought I had conquered these feelings but I guess there are lingering remnants. As they (WHO IS THEY?) say, I fought the battle but have not won the war. I will keep fighting the battles until there are fewer of them and maybe then the war will be won for me.
Then again, maybe we all have days like this. I sure hope so. As with all things, this too will pass.
After writing these words and reading over them, I have doubt as to whether or not to post this but will anyway. Maybe someone else is having “one of those days” and will know they are not alone.
Poem:
WHICH ONE WILL SHE BE TODAY? by Rubberduckii
Solid
stable, together
unmoveable, stationed, still
she hides the emotions
solid
liquid
uncontrolled, unpredictable
slipping, falling, showing
she finally breaks down
liquid.
This poem and others by rubberduckii can be found at http://www.poems-and-quotes.com/
Copyright © 2007 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved
Being Angry
It is okay to get angry occasionally, that is normal. What is not normal is to be angry all the time. Life is too short to be mad and angry at everyone and everything. My entire life was spent being angry and now that I let go of the anger, life is more pleasant
The amazing part is that I don’t really know what caused me to be angry or why. I blamed my mother, my upbringing and other people but after much soul searching, I only had myself to blame. I believe that somewhere early in my life I made a decision to be angry.
I read self help books, had counseling but nothing ever seemed to make sense to me and I kept on being the way I was since “I did not have a problem”. Everyone one else had the problem and if they didn’t like the way I was, so be it.
After being married for the last 10 years to a person who was so much like me, that is was like looking in the mirror and seeing myself for the first time. I did not like what I saw and decided I must change and made that change. I am only sorry that it took so long and I am truly sorry for the people around me that were subjected to my behavior. I contacted some of those people and apologized to them. Some of them were receptive and some were not. The biggest regret I have is that my mother passed away before I came to this realization and I never got to apologize to her.
It was difficult for me to accept the mistakes I made but I finally learned from them and moved on. The result for me being a productive and pleasant life.
The amazing part is that I don’t really know what caused me to be angry or why. I blamed my mother, my upbringing and other people but after much soul searching, I only had myself to blame. I believe that somewhere early in my life I made a decision to be angry.
I read self help books, had counseling but nothing ever seemed to make sense to me and I kept on being the way I was since “I did not have a problem”. Everyone one else had the problem and if they didn’t like the way I was, so be it.
After being married for the last 10 years to a person who was so much like me, that is was like looking in the mirror and seeing myself for the first time. I did not like what I saw and decided I must change and made that change. I am only sorry that it took so long and I am truly sorry for the people around me that were subjected to my behavior. I contacted some of those people and apologized to them. Some of them were receptive and some were not. The biggest regret I have is that my mother passed away before I came to this realization and I never got to apologize to her.
It was difficult for me to accept the mistakes I made but I finally learned from them and moved on. The result for me being a productive and pleasant life.
Copyright © 2007 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Beyond My Comprehension
I read the news online everyday at the news channels and newspapers and I cannot believe the things that people do to each other, children and to animals. I am appalled at the behavior these people feel entitled to force upon others. What gives them the right to kill, rape, abuse, kidnap, and destroy the lives of the victims and their families?
There must be some inherent evil in those who commit these acts. A majority are repeat offenders. Perhaps if the punishment they received for their first crime had been harsh enough, there would not be a second one. But then again if they are truly evil, then nothing will deter them other than death.
What do we as a society have to do to stop these acts? Do we build more prisons for the killers, rapists, abusers, kidnappers? Do we take a stand and demand stiffer sentences for them? Or do we sit back and let things be as they are? Do we adopt the punishments of other countries that don’t seem to “coddle” the criminals? Do we let our fellowman; children and animals continue to be the victims? Do we insist that the US Congress and State Governments enact laws with some “teeth” in them to make it more difficult for hardcore criminals to get out of prison? There are no easy answers. But something needs to be done to stop this madness.
Copyright © 2007 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved
There must be some inherent evil in those who commit these acts. A majority are repeat offenders. Perhaps if the punishment they received for their first crime had been harsh enough, there would not be a second one. But then again if they are truly evil, then nothing will deter them other than death.
What do we as a society have to do to stop these acts? Do we build more prisons for the killers, rapists, abusers, kidnappers? Do we take a stand and demand stiffer sentences for them? Or do we sit back and let things be as they are? Do we adopt the punishments of other countries that don’t seem to “coddle” the criminals? Do we let our fellowman; children and animals continue to be the victims? Do we insist that the US Congress and State Governments enact laws with some “teeth” in them to make it more difficult for hardcore criminals to get out of prison? There are no easy answers. But something needs to be done to stop this madness.
Copyright © 2007 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Starting Over
I recently made a major change in my life and I am starting over. I left my marriage of 10 years. For the first several weeks, I felt quilt, was depressed, not sure I made the right decision, felt like a failure, wasn’t sure if I should stay where I am or go back, felt hopeless, looked at what I didn’t have rather than what I do have. In other words, I was a mess. After discussing the situation with two of my very best friends and I do mean best friends, and a reply to an email I sent to a stranger, I am in a much better place and moving forward.
One day, shortly after I moved here, I was watching a local noon talk show and they had a guest on who seemed to be talking directly to me. She is a therapist and I sent her an email with the subject Help! In the email I told her a few of the details about my life change and how I was feeling. Being the cynical person that I am at times, I didn’t think that I would get a reply but I did and it was just what I needed to “jumpstart” my recovery.
This is what she replied: “Thank you so much for writing! The fact that you survived all those years in an abusive situation says something about your resiliency! You are no longer helpless! Now that you're out, it's going to take time for you to find yourself again.
You probably don't have much confidence (abuse generally takes that away) and what you didn't expect, was to feel so lonely and so empty.
Often, that loneliness and emptiness sends people back to miserable situations. Don't be one of those people!
If you have a few clothes and food and shelter - consider it a start.
Good luck and keep putting one foot in front of the other.”
Sometime in the future, I intend to contact her again with an update and thank her for several things. The first being a response to my email and the second being her words to me. I don’t think that she will ever know how much it helped me.
I am slowly rebuilding my life and regaining my self esteem. I plan to take my time and learn from the mistakes that I made in the situation I was in and with luck I won’t repeat them. I believe that we should all pay attention to our “inner voice” we have when it tells us that something is not right or not good for us. Looking back, if I had only paid attention to that “inner voice”, things would have been much different and I would not have put myself in the situation.
Copyright © 2007 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved
One day, shortly after I moved here, I was watching a local noon talk show and they had a guest on who seemed to be talking directly to me. She is a therapist and I sent her an email with the subject Help! In the email I told her a few of the details about my life change and how I was feeling. Being the cynical person that I am at times, I didn’t think that I would get a reply but I did and it was just what I needed to “jumpstart” my recovery.
This is what she replied: “Thank you so much for writing! The fact that you survived all those years in an abusive situation says something about your resiliency! You are no longer helpless! Now that you're out, it's going to take time for you to find yourself again.
You probably don't have much confidence (abuse generally takes that away) and what you didn't expect, was to feel so lonely and so empty.
Often, that loneliness and emptiness sends people back to miserable situations. Don't be one of those people!
If you have a few clothes and food and shelter - consider it a start.
Good luck and keep putting one foot in front of the other.”
Sometime in the future, I intend to contact her again with an update and thank her for several things. The first being a response to my email and the second being her words to me. I don’t think that she will ever know how much it helped me.
I am slowly rebuilding my life and regaining my self esteem. I plan to take my time and learn from the mistakes that I made in the situation I was in and with luck I won’t repeat them. I believe that we should all pay attention to our “inner voice” we have when it tells us that something is not right or not good for us. Looking back, if I had only paid attention to that “inner voice”, things would have been much different and I would not have put myself in the situation.
Copyright © 2007 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved
Our Inner Voice
I believe that each of us has an “inner voice”. That feeling you get in the pit of your stomach that something is not right or not good for you. I wonder why we don’t listen when the inner voice speaks to us. I am guilty of not listening. If I had listened, certain situations in my life would not have unfolded the way that they have. Once I start to listen and acknowledge the truth, change comes about. I have to learn to trust that voice and be true to whom I am and what I need to do in my life and quit worrying about what other people will think of me for my decisions. I cannot control what people think and as long as I feel my decisions are what is right for me based on my inner voice, I have to make them and continue in a forward direction.
Copyright © 2007 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved
Copyright © 2007 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved
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